It's Been Five Years
by HamhaPHKFan
Summary: After finishing Skool and going to the second year of High Skool, Zim has yet to take over Earth. Dib is still on his trail, but not as severely as before. While trying to cope with his new predicament, the alien must find out why the humans are so tall.
1. These Humans Are Too Tall

Everyone is _too tall._

I remember that lesson in the other Skool; how the humans are always growing and, by the age of 17, they will reach their full height.

_But why does everyone have to be so tall?_

This hallway is filthier than the other Skool's. There's garbage everywhere! Yeck, I see bottles of Poop Cola all over the ground. Why didn't the humans just drop them in the disposal unit? It's right_ there! _

Eww! I stepped on something! It's slimy and sticky and sticking to my boot and_ it won't come off! _

I swing my leg really hard. The gooey thing finally flies off and lands on a tall humans head. They don't notice. I walk away.

It's crowded. There are humans _everywhere._ I always need to watch where I step; because of the pig- smellies and the _dirt._ It's futile, anyhow. Everyone keeps running into me, shoving me aside so they can get by. They smell funny.

"Outta the way, shorty!" Hm, here's another one. He's rather hairy. And _tall. _I best move out of his way before- AUGH!

HE PUSHED ME! _ME! _Well, it was more of a shove, but STILL! I'm on my hands and knees. On the _dirt covered floor! _Why did I have to move out of the way for that pig! The hairy child is laughing as he walks away. All the other humans are laughing too. I hate this planet. These humans are _too tall._

They weren't this tall in the other Skool! After finishing the 'Ate Grade', we were all put into this 'High Skool'. Huh. Stupid name. This skool is tiny compared to some of the other buildings on this planet, or compared to the ones on Irk.

I bet they named it that to taunt me, just because their _''high'_t', and they're comparing it to mine. SO! They used to be as short as me! No, wait, that doesn't sound right... Ah,_ they used to be the same height as me_. Yep. That's how you say it.

Bleh.

"Stupid Earth-pig!" I get up and quickly fix my wig. It almost flew off when I fell. Phew. It would be horrible if the humans found me out after all this time. But that will never happen. My disguise is still flawless, even after all these years.

Human years, that is. It hasn't even been half a year on my planet, but that doesn't hide away the fact that the conquering of this dirt-ball is taking so long! My leaders, the Almighty Tallest, don't _look _annoyed by this, but I guess that's because this planet can already be considered a part of the Irken Empire! After all, this planet is subject to the wrath of INVADER ZIM!

I'm laughing. Hard. Most of the humans are looking at me funny. Some of them are shooting glares at me. Others pay me no mind. Maybe they're used to it. _Oops_.

"... Normal." I say. That's all I have to say. The humans are too stupid to realize I'm lying. They shrug and continue whatever boring activity they were doing before hand.

The bell is ringing. All the foolish pig-smellies are picking up their books to... _hurry to their classes._

I jump into an empty storage unit and slam it shut as the stampede of children rush by. They're all yelling rude words at each other. I think. The words they are saying have all been used to describe me at one point, and they used them in what appeared to be a bad way. Fools! They shouldn't say those things to their superior! They should say it to their own stupid faces!

...I think. I don't really know what the words mean. I'll have to ask the computer when I get back to base.

I don't hear anything now. I open the storage unit door and look around. Nothing. Okay, then, time to head to class. Now, where is it? Lessee, left turn, straight, straight, right, DODGE THE HUMAN, _straight_, _left, through this door, __**up, forward, right, finally!**_

I enter through a crooked door and sit down at my desk. My 'Ten Grade' HighSkoolmates are already sitting at theirs. They are laughing and talking to each other. Ha. They're lucky Ms. Bitters isn't in this Skool. She would immediately send them to the underground classrooms. But they don't have Ms. Bitters. They have this emotionless man.

My HighSkoolmates are silent now. They must hear Emotionless Man coming. He's different than the other teachers. He has dirty clothes. There's _mud _stains all over his sweater, though they're hard to see 'cause the sweater is brown, but I can see them.

_I can always see them. Ugh_.

Emotionless man steps into the room. He looks around at the humans, and then me. Funny. I thought I saw him frown. He never frowns. He never does anything with his face except talk in a monotone voice. He's worse than my computer.

He sits at his desk for a minute writing the a-ten-dunce, as usual. Now he's standing.

"Get out your textbooks and open to page 357." He says. All the earth-monkeys obey. I glare at him. How _dare _he tell me, Zim, what to do _every single Earth day!_ He should be listening to _me!_ The stupid human doesn't know his place! Look at him, with his dirt covered sweater filled with_ filthy germs_! I _won't_ listen to him! He will listen to _me!_ _All will obey Zim! _

I grunt and pull out the stupid book.

"...Horrible Earth material..." I mutter. I can't turn the pages properly. The trees here will be burned. There will be no more of these idiotic Earth manufactured books. Get 'em from planet Bukwarm. It's all that new addition to the Irken Empire is good for.

"Aha! I found it! Victory for Zim!" I cheer as I open the book to the ordered page. I stand up on my desk, smiling with my arms raised into the air and knocking the book over. The humans all look at me. I hear them muttering to each other. They are saying things like 'Freak' and 'Weirdo' and one of the other words I don't know the definition of. Emotionless man gives me a cold look of disapproval.

I sit down.


	2. I Hate Him

_I hate this_.

The High Skool day ended a few minutes ago, but not before I barely dodged an encounter with the Dib-stink.

_Correction; I hate __**him**_.

I was walking through the filthy hallways, being called another one of those undefined words, and when I turned the corner I saw him talking to another human. A female, to be precise. She had long black hair and brown eyes. Whenever she's with the Dib, she wears some odd ripped yellow jacket. She talks funny.

"... Used to say 'You jerk! I'll expose you for the bully you really are!'" The Dib cried with a familiar enthusiasm. His voice is deeper than it used to be. His head is still big, and he's _tall_. I wondered what on Irk he was blabbering on about. The female human laughed in an ear-piercing high pitch.

I didn't flinch. Nope. I was just... Uh, doing a quick stretch. Yeah.

The female gasped to catch her breath and spoke...?

"Ah, iz most fun hanging with nice boy like you, Dibu." She said. The Dib-worm's face turned red for a moment. Huh. Maybe he has contracted an Earth disease. Inferior human immune system.

"You're English is getting better," The Dib said, obviously trying to change the subject. "You learn quickly."

They started walking my way. I had to hide in a HighSkoolmates Back-PAK. The female and the Dib-pig walked right by me. The Dib looked back for a second. I held my breath. He shrugged and walked with the other human.

The HighSkoolmate dragged me out of his Back-PAK and threw me into a dumpster.

Now, I'm walking to my base, covered in _horrible human filth_. It's oddly cold outside. I learned of the 'For Season' ritual, and have concluded that the humans are stupider than I thought. Right now, they say it's 'Fall'.

The only thing falling right now is my will power of not calling GIR and telling him to bring me a stupid coat.

I recognize this area. I must be close to my base. There are some new houses around, though, and different humans than when I first landed on this soon-to-be-conquered dirt-ball. I know the planets main defences now, and with this knowledge, I will make all humans bow toward Zim!

... And the Tallest. Can't forget about the Tallest.

I see my base's roof peeking over the other houses now. It's still the same as when I made it, if you don't acknowledge the extra gnomes and girl scout eating plant. Heh. I'm proud of my defences. I haven't had a doorbell ring or a knock-knock in almost a week. It's so quiet.

Too quiet. I can't see any movement. I don't hear any experiments being smashed or loud squeels coming from the base's interior. This isn't right. This isn't right at _all_.

I hurry to the front step and yank open the door, shoving the roboparents out of the way. There is no sign of them. I expected them to pop out of nowhere, screaming "I found you!" or even a simple "Squeak!", but there's nothing. This is bad.

"GIR...?" I whisper, hoping my robot slave might just be trying to play a game of 'Hide-and-Squeak'. He might be hiding in the oven, or maybe behind the couch...

"Minimoose?" I call, louder this time. That weapon will come out as soon as I call it, but he isn't coming out. I can't hear them. _This is bad._

I run through the kitchen and dash to the elevator; cleverly disguised as a human toilet. I pull the leaver and hear the familiar 'flush'. GIR hadn't tinkered with it.

That can be interpreted as a good thing or a bad thing.

The elevator spits me out onto the laboratory floor. I fall to the ground with a_ splat_. Shaking my head slightly, I get up and run though what I'm going to do.

"Computer!" I call, not frantically at all. Nope. Not even the slightest bit. I tap my foot impatiently. I hear an odd yawning noise and a few small beeps before getting a reply.

"What is it, Zi-Master?" The computer spoke in an Emotionless man-like monotone voice. It almost slipped up, but it greeted me as I so rightfully deserve. Bah, I have no time for this!

"Be silent! There is no time to bask in the glory that is Zim! Activate the tracking device on GIR!" I yell. The computer let's out a small buzzing noise, and then nothing. I hiss in aggravation.

"NOW!" I bark. The computer obeys, and it's screen shows that GIR is... Right behind me. I knew that all along, of course. I was just testing the computers function capabilities.

I hear a giggle coming from behind me, along with a soft squeak. I clench my fists.

"GIR!" I spin around to face my blue and silver servant, only to find him staring at me with distracted glowing eyes and unintentionally choking a darker-purple-than-normal Minimoose in a death-hold. I pull the suffocating moose away from GIR and Minimoose sways in the air for a moment, slightly dazed. My attention turns to the robot that caused my overreaction. He blinks.

"I make the biscuits," He states, plainly. Before I can respond, GIR grabs my leg and squeezes, hard. He begins to cry. "Ah-Ah made dem for you-hoo-hooo!"

My eyes widen for a split second, then I growl and try to shake the robot off. It's no use; GIR has the grip of a giant man eating squid when he feels like it, and apparently right now he feels like it. I shake harder. Urg, this is frustrating! GIR only laughs and cries at the same time.

"Let_ go _of me, GIR!" I order, and for once, the robot obeys. He let's go of my now-numb leg with a happy squeal and runs to catch an imaginary cockroach on the floor.

It has to be imaginary. No inferior Earth-Bug can get through _my_ defences. I AM ZIM!

I turn to Minimoose, who sickly squeaks. He looks like he might vomit. ... Ew.

"Go over there." I gesture towards the farthest corner of the room from me. The moose obeys, gliding wobbly. Meh. I turn to the computer screen again. It's time to get down to business.

"Computer, show me the city's Shopping Mall." I say, ready to get my evil plan underway. A small grunt comes from the computer, but it obediently shows me everything the malls security camera's see.

I hear GIR talking to someone, but I have nothing to worry about. There's no one there.

"Hmm... Enlarge this screen." I point at the camera footage with the most humans in it. It stretches out and I can read the store labels clearer. On of them catches my attention; the one with the humans coming out happily. "Computer! What is this _'Bee-yew-ty Sal-on'_?"

The computer buzzes again, then a picture of a store pops up.

"A Beauty Salon, or Beauty Parlor, is where humans go to make themselves look better than they actually do. They change their hair, face, nails and more. Both males and females go to this department, though it is more popular with females." The computer concluded. I smirk.

"Excellent... If I destroy all these..._ 'Sal-ons'_, the humans will be helpless against my might!" I laugh. I'm so smart. I doubt any other Irken thought of a plan as intelligent as this!

"But, Master, what does a Beauty Salon have to do with conquering a planet?" The computer asks. Oh, it's so stupid!

"SILENCE! Do _not _question your superior! We start the operation tonight!" I start laughing again. I abruptly stop as I remember what I wanted to ask the computer. I look directly at the screen.

"Oh, and by the way, what does this word mean..."


End file.
